Jul 20, 2015

AshleyMadison hack leaks longstanding tryst between Mrs. Met, Phillie Phanatic

Original Photo Sources:  Youtube, WCPO, BMJ2K

Details continue to be forthcoming but initial leaks reveal that Mrs. Met and the Phillie Phanatic have been having an ongoing affair via extra-marital affair site, Ashley Madison.  Questions abound, including how both were able to  type messages successfully with their giant hands and when they were able to meet, given their rigorous mascotting schedules.  

Trying to explain herself, Mrs. Met details that the fire isn't there anymore. "I've never seen such a Lazy Lazy Mary in all our years together. He barely claps his hands to "Everybody clap your hands." He can't even get the t-shirt cannon up like he used to, if you know what I mean" Mrs. Met proclaimed, before pantomiming a bazooka that literally shoots t-shirts. She explains that despite the Phillies' inferior record, the phanatic is exciting, especially when he hornsound/toot/wohwoh/trombone noises.

Mr. Met could not be reached for comment, although word is he plans to reach out to Rosie Red from Cincinnati.


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