Jul 16, 2015

Mets announce callup of DavZackrryvisar D'AWriguellervins, Frankenstein utility player

Photo Source: Many

Realizing that David Wright's back and Travis D'Arnaud's arms would be constant future concerns, the Mets surprised fans today by calling up relative unknown DavZackrryvisar D'AWriguellervins, frankenstein utility player. Composed of the forearms of David Wright, the face of Jerry Blevins, the back and goatee of Travis D'Arnaud, the left leg of Cesar Puello, the right foot of Mr. Met and the brains of Zack Wheeler, DavZachrryvisar will finally give the mets the versatility of a superutility player without having to trade or spend for one (P, C, 3b, OF, Mascot). Ironically, if DavZachrryvisar can be said to have an achilles heel it would be his achilles heel, borrowed from Adam Wainwright.

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