Jul 10, 2015

Worried Steven Matz to Meet Genie Today


Photo: ESPN.com

It was announced yesterday that Mets phenom southpaw Steven Matz suffered a lat injury and will be out for at least three weeks, which was something Matz's genie did not warn him about.

"He said nothing about injuries," Matz said, in between tears and swallows of a baloney sandwich. 

Appearing out of nowhere enveloped in a purple haze of smoke, the genie responded to Matz's comment. "These kids all think they are owed the world," he said wearing a Stephen Strasburg jersey. "I'm just teaching them a lesson about how unfair life is." 

"Oh, I know that dude," Michael Cuddyer said between magic tricks. "I summoned him once by accident. Then after asking stupid questions and generally being a pain-in-the-ass for five minutes, I wished that he would just go away." The genie then slapped him across the face and disappeared. Cuddyer's knees haven't been the same since.

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